December 3, 2011 § 1 Comment
12. The most emotional funeral visit is the one you’re not expecting to be.
13. Saying ‘yes please’ when offered a drink in someone’s home is an extreme sport.
14. You can’t help watching someone’s TV, even with the sound turned down.
15. Being more interested in the parents’ Mercedes/motor bike/hi-fi rather than their baby is not good form on a baptism visit.
16. Just because you’re on Twitter doesn’t make you acceptable to the young.
17. You are not there to outshine the Bride, nor give the Best Man’s speech.
18. Organists are uniformly lovely, and uniformly misunderstood.
19. people who say they are sorry for disturbing you because you’re very busy really mean it, and really are.
20. No other role gets you involved in the highest and lowest points of people’s lives, especially not all in the same afternoon.
December 2, 2011 § 1 Comment
1. The house you are looking for in the dark will be the one without a number.
2. You will receive your first complaint about a service you thought was brilliant within ten minutes of arriving home.
3. No doorbell ever works.
4. The only people who ring before nine o’clock in the morning are undertakers or Bishops.
5. The one time you answer the phone in an amusing way will be the one time you wish you hadn’t.
6. No dog which ‘just wants to play’ should be trusted.
7. You should always have a grace ready. Or ‘a few words’. Or (in Africa) a sermon.
8. You think that wearing a dog collar will get you a better deal, or give weight when you complain. It won’t.
9. In a PCC meeting even those you know well will say stuff that you wouldn’t believe.
10. No, it’s not a job. Yes, it is the best in the world.