Rules for Reverends IX

December 13, 2011 § 2 Comments

Can’t stop now…

81. There is probably a very good reason for Deanery Synods.

82. There will be one key which unlocks the drawer which has all the other keys to the building and safes in it. This key will be in plain sight somewhere.

83. There is nothing clergy like better than following other clergy in a procession. That the one at the front knows where they are going is taken a matter of faith by those behind, and is a proof of the existence of God.

84. Most people’s worst nightmare is a Vicar with a guitar. This situation is helpfully relieved by saying ‘I know. I am your worst nightmare. A Vicar with a guitar’. When tuning up, give them a bit of All right now (Free) or Thunderstruck (AC/DC). It works for me.

85. There is nothing so very wrong with wedding photographers. When there is, do give them some feedback.

86. Take great care over finances, and learn to read a balance sheet. The level of giving as a barometer of the spiritual life of the congregation.

87. Being on the committee of another organisation is a good way of realising that perhaps the PCC isn’t so bad after all. Or recognising that, actually, it is.

88. The law of buffets is that the optimum arrangement of food and plates has not yet been discovered, and that all the other ones are achingly slow.

89. Loud shoes in stone floored churches are much to be encouraged.

90. The contents of the flower cupboard are a mystery, one not to be explored without prayer and fasting.

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