Rules for Reverends VIII

December 12, 2011 § 1 Comment

Where does this stuff come from?

71. Under no circumstances agree to judge a fancy dress competition where there is any possibility of you meeting any contestant, or any member of their family, during their lifetime.

72. If your church has lots of needy people, it’s probably because it’s doing the right thing. But that doesn’t make it easier to handle.

73. Choristers have to work very hard to make sure they have the right stuff to sing at the right time. They might not, therefore, take in what else is happening in your brilliantly crafted act of worship. Give them some input another way.

74. Some people will never ever be satisfied. Find out who they are, and spend as little time as possible trying to sort things out for them.

75. The preferred communication style of most churches is osmosis and telepathy.

76. Decide which practical things in your church you will know nothing about. This could be how the clock is wound, or the way the boiler works. You do not have to do everything, only the stuff you have to do. Discovering what this is will be your life’s work.

77. Look carefully at the retired clergy around you. Find a happy one, and ask them how they did it. Start planning to do the same. You could be retired a long time.

78. What they don’t teach you at theological college is how to hold a plate and a glass of wine and a fork at the same time. They should.

79. You may not be designed for small talk. Watch a master, and steal three phrases which will help. Asking people about themselves is a good starter.

80. There might be loads of clergy at the cathedral, but they do work hard. It’s just different to what you do.

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