Rules for Reverends IV

December 5, 2011 § 3 Comments

31. Falling asleep during a clergy quiet day isn’t a sin, but it’s embarrassing if you dribble.

32. The person who looks most miserable in a special service will be the one who tells you at the end how much they loved it.

33. You might have sung ‘Hark the Herald’ thirteen times already, but for most of the congregation it’s their only time in church this year.

34. The person who thought that an orange, some ribbon, sweets and a candle would be an aid to worship had to be joking. No one’s laughing now.

35. There should be a misprint in every order of service. Only God is perfect.

36. No one will notice if you do your bit at the wrong time. Everyone will notice when the organist does. Cut them some slack.

37. Virgers are God’s way of saying ‘I love you’.

38. Aggressive gestures at other drivers are given added spice when you wear a dog collar.

39. There is something curiously uplifting about doing 70 mph in a hearse.

40. You need a very secure safe for all the special treasures people entrust you with.


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