As far as I can tell I last preached on this passage twenty years ago, give or take 5 days. A lot has happened since a reasonably slim chap in his early thirties with two small sons and quite a lot of hair last spoke about Nathanael and Philip and good things coming from Nazareth. Think back to what life was like for you in 1992, and what you have now that you didn’t have then. I’m thinking particularly of the way that our means of communication have changed. Some people had mobile phones which you needed a sherpa to carry for you. Your computer stood alone, and there were disks and they were floppy. Few people beyond computer science departments had the internet and world wide web.

 So there is no reference in my last sermon on this topic (which as it happens was written with a ‘pen’ on ‘paper’ and placed in a ‘Filofax’) to the image which first struck me as I looked at John 1 again. John the Baptist speaks about the Messiah. The next day he sees Jesus and says ‘Here is the Lamb of God’. The next day two of John’s disciples, perhaps encouraged by John, start to follow Jesus. One of them is Andrew, and he rushes to tell his brother, Simon. Immediately Jesus gives him a new name. The next day Jesus ups sticks and goes toGalileein the north. He finds Philip, who follows him. Philip finds Nathanael, and he follows Jesus too. It’s breathless stuff. According to John the Evangelist it’s taken three days only for Jesus to be publicly revealed as the Messiah, and to gather followers in the south and the north. And the image I thought of as I read this? That if Jesus was on Twitter he would be said to be ‘trending’ – one of the most talked about subjects on the internet.

 Think of Twitter as the kind of conversation you might overhear and join in with in a bus queue. People will talk about stuff that they think others will like, or might like to hear. Sometimes a subject ‘trends’, and everyone wants to join in. Twitter is a very young piece of technology, and twenty years ago I couldn’t have imagined anything like it or the smartphone which makes it fly. But the concept is ancient. If something is interesting, or amazing, or challenging, or worth listening to, people will talk about it and they will tell other people about it too. You can’t help it, even if it’s only to pass the time in the paper shop or in a pub or the Post Office. What happens in John 1 is that, from nowhere, Jesus becomes the most important thing there is, and people are so struck by him that they drop everything and follow him.

 What happens on Twitter is that, when you come across someone you think is interesting and amusing, you ‘follow’ them. It means you can decide to read what they write. On Facebook you control who sees what you write. On Twitter other people can decide to watch you. Some people have hundreds of thousands – even millions – of  followers. And there’s a cartoon circulating of Jesus saying to someone “No, I meant really follow me. Not just on Twitter’. There is no commitment to being a Twitter follower. You’re a watcher, not a disciple. What happens to Andrew and Simon and Philip and Nathanael here is that they encounter the living God in the person of Jesus Christ, and they are so blown away that they know that there is no place they would rather be, no person that they would rather be with, than this man Jesus. Nathanael even overcomes his prejudices. ‘Goole? Can anything good come from Goole?’ But when he sees and hears Jesus, his first words are ‘Rabbi, you are the Son of God’. Wow.

It would be fabulous just to be able to walk into a pub, or Costa, or to work, or to the Leisure Centre, and say something about God and for everyone to go ‘Yeah’ and sign up for an Alpha Course. But not even Jesus got that reaction all the time. What I notice about these encounters is that these are people who are already looking. John the Baptist has been called to prepare the way. Andrew is already following John as his disciple. Nathanael is described as an honest follower of God. Philip and Simon are connected to Andrew, and you can imagine the conversations they must have had. They are ready, and when they recognise Jesus they move in a flash. Not everyone we will speak to, or invite to church, or who brings their children for baptism, or gets married here, or we know at work, is at the stage where an encounter with Christ through us, in powerful words or amazing worship, will actually get through. For many people there’s a process to go through, a language to learn. People need to be prepared.

 I say this so that we will not be discouraged when we give it our best shot and nothing happens. People’s preparation takes different forms, and people go at different speeds. People saw Jesus in the flesh and rejected him, and the same will happen today. But I believe people will be prepared and moved and challenged when they meet people – Christians – who are not Twitter followers, vaguely interested if they have the time, but who are disciples. When Jesus said ‘Follow me’ to Philip and Nathanael and Andrew and Simon he meant exactly that. You went where your teacher did and you did what he did. People who followed Plato even imitated his stoop when he walked. Jesus calls us today, and if we are ready we will be his followers.

 We will be disciples. We’ll give away a proportion of our money when most other people are trying to hold on to theirs. We’ll practice forgiveness rather than getting even. We[ll know that we need healing and forgiveness in our very beings and souls, and that God can give this. We’ll look out for the underdog rather than following the celebrity. We’ll be pleased, rather than jealous, when others succeed. We’ll recognise our weaknesses rather than pointing out other people’s. We’ll see human life as the image of God, not something which can be extinguished on a whim. We will point to Jesus Christ, not ourselves. We will find our worth in the fact that we are loved by God, not in the size of our paypacket or the model of our car. We will find Jesus revealed in other people, and love them because of that, not because they are beautiful or witty or rich. We’ll know that we can never get enough of the Bible, never plumb the depths or scale the heights of prayer, never exhaust the praises of God. We will be disciples.

 And if we do that, honestly and humbly and openly, then perhaps Jesus will become real to the people we meet, the people we bump into. Perhaps we’ll be like a glass full of water which gets bumped and spills out. When people bump us perhaps the love of God will spill out. All we can do is be pottery containers for the most amazing treasure. But if we follow, if we demonstrate that this God has claimed the whole of our life, and if we humbly are unashamed to admit it, then Jesus Christ will be revealed to our husbands and wives and children and families and friends and neighbours and colleagues.

 Jesus was noticed in John 1 because he revealed the Father. Jesus will be noticed in HU17 because we reveal Jesus. Not everyone will get it. But shame on us if those who could get it don’t get it because we are ashamed. Our job is to follow, to show Jesus to others, and to tell others about him. You can use Twitter for that. You can use words. You can do things. But you cannot be indifferent. We are those who say with Nathanael: ‘Rabbi. You are the Son of God. You are the King of Israel!’.

111. Christmas happens on December 25th every year. It is amazing the number of times you will not realise this until it’s too late.

112. If you have the NRSV on your smartphone you can update your Facebook status during worship and pretend you’re reading the Bible.

113. There is probably a way of remembering which of your robes is in which of your churches, or your house. If you’ve discovered it, please let the rest of us know.

114. Never be afraid to admit that part of you is in it for the dressing up.

115. There is absolutely no way you can look at your watch when in a deep pastoral situation without the other person noticing.

116. Most church problems are sorted out by the people who know in the car park afterwards. Not worth having the original meeting at all, when you think about it.

117. Visitations are only made by Angels, Archdeacons and the Blessed Virgin Mary. Not all Visitations are the same.

118. At least with Alpha you get food.

119. Everything is fair game as a sermon illustration. Especially your children. They’ll love you for it.

120. Store up the questions that only God can answer on the other side of death. There’ll be plenty of time to get them answered. Or maybe they won’t need to be.

101. On paper Carol services look like they are going to be really long, but are shorter than you think.

102. Work out how you respond best to conflict, because there will be some. The Body of Christ is made up of human beings, after all. And the Holy Spirit doesn’t help. Look at Corinth.

103. No, the compilers of the Lectionary didn’t know what they were doing.

104. If you buy a thick cassock because all churches are cold, you will only ever work in warm ones.

105. There is no such thing as a quiet toy.

106. Never overestimate the power of a lone bagpiper to evoke a sense of lament.

107. If your worship group has a drummer, pray that they are the most musical person in the building.

108. People who have worshipped in the same church for decades have rarely looked around it properly. Preach about the windows or a carving. They will be amazed.

109. Church bells must be divine. Humans ring them. God knows why.

110. Don’t mess with the Flower Arrangers.

91. It’s only when you’re in the pulpit and coughing that you realise you’re not sure whether the jug and glass have been there for five years without being changed.

92. Gardening is only therapeutic when your parishioners can’t see you doing it. When they do they think you’re taking too much time off.

93. Answering machines are superb, but you do need to listen to them.

94. If you need a decent policy for something, ask your friendly Methodists. They’ve got loads of good ones.

95. No surprise is more pleasant than a letter from the Bishop by return.

96. Never underestimate the power of a nun to get conversations going. Especially on public transport.

97. Fill in attendance numbers carefully, and review them year by year. Some trends take time to make themselves felt.

98. Never handle any cash. If you have to, get a witness.

99. People are very coy and very careful about their giving. Be coy and careful back, but make sure they know they are appreciated.

100. Working harder at this job won’t get you any more money. Unless you become a Bishop, a Dean or an Archdeacon. And who wants to be one of them?

81. There is probably a very good reason for Deanery Synods.

82. There will be one key which unlocks the drawer which has all the other keys to the building and safes in it. This key will be in plain sight somewhere.

83. There is nothing clergy like better than following other clergy in a procession. That the one at the front knows where they are going is taken a matter of faith by those behind, and is a proof of the existence of God.

84. Most people’s worst nightmare is a Vicar with a guitar. This situation is helpfully relieved by saying ‘I know. I am your worst nightmare. A Vicar with a guitar’. When tuning up, give them a bit of All right now (Free) or Thunderstruck (AC/DC). It works for me.

85. There is nothing so very wrong with wedding photographers. When there is, do give them some feedback.

86. Take great care over finances, and learn to read a balance sheet. The level of giving as a barometer of the spiritual life of the congregation.

87. Being on the committee of another organisation is a good way of realising that perhaps the PCC isn’t so bad after all. Or recognising that, actually, it is.

88. The law of buffets is that the optimum arrangement of food and plates has not yet been discovered, and that all the other ones are achingly slow.

89. Loud shoes in stone floored churches are much to be encouraged.

90. The contents of the flower cupboard are a mystery, one not to be explored without prayer and fasting.

71. Under no circumstances agree to judge a fancy dress competition where there is any possibility of you meeting any contestant, or any member of their family, during their lifetime.

72. If your church has lots of needy people, it’s probably because it’s doing the right thing. But that doesn’t make it easier to handle.

73. Choristers have to work very hard to make sure they have the right stuff to sing at the right time. They might not, therefore, take in what else is happening in your brilliantly crafted act of worship. Give them some input another way.

74. Some people will never ever be satisfied. Find out who they are, and spend as little time as possible trying to sort things out for them.

75. The preferred communication style of most churches is osmosis and telepathy.

76. Decide which practical things in your church you will know nothing about. This could be how the clock is wound, or the way the boiler works. You do not have to do everything, only the stuff you have to do. Discovering what this is will be your life’s work.

77. Look carefully at the retired clergy around you. Find a happy one, and ask them how they did it. Start planning to do the same. You could be retired a long time.

78. What they don’t teach you at theological college is how to hold a plate and a glass of wine and a fork at the same time. They should.

79. You may not be designed for small talk. Watch a master, and steal three phrases which will help. Asking people about themselves is a good starter.

80. There might be loads of clergy at the cathedral, but they do work hard. It’s just different to what you do.

61. The length of a PCC discussion about money will be in inverse proportion to the amount discussed.

62. No, the Diocese does not know what it is doing.

63. If you want something to thrive, threaten to abolish it.

64. Some organisations do die. Give them an honourable and joyful funeral.

65. It is impossible to overestimate the impact on your ministry of using clear consonants and not dropping your voice at the end of a sentence.

66. Just because the microphone is there doesn’t mean everyone will automatically hear you.

67. The notice sheet exists so that people can happily ignore its contents.

68. If you can’t be omniscient you can give the impression of being omnipresent. And you don’t have to stay to the end.

69. If the whole team is last minute you’ll get on well with each other and your church will learn what faith is all about.

70.Yes, it’s frustrating not to be able to join in at Choral Evensong. Just let go, and let the office pray you.

51. Some people have very noisy coats

52. The tiptoeing thing people do when they are late into church doesn’t work.

53. When you go to see the Bishop about your future, bear in mind that he might have said his prayers that morning. But then again, he might just have a gap to fill.

54. You drink more Communion wine than anyone else. You owe it to yourself to make it decent.

55. The Press has a memory shorter than a goldfish, and works on whims and timescales more rapid than a toddler in a toyshop. You will not change this.

56. No church hall booking system ever works.

57. Common Worship was written so that people previously at enmity with each other could have something to moan about together.

58. No one is ever happy about car parking arrangements.

59. Account very carefully for special collections, and write within nano seconds to the donor and recipient.

60. People who light a candle when they say a prayer are not being superstitious. The Holy Spirit is helping them with sighs too deep for words.

Seem to have started something here – a few more then.

41. No Year 1 assembly will survive if you mention the word ‘Christmas’.

42. You can always tell a Bishop but you can’t tell him much.

43. Services are better when planned with other people. Your week will be better if you don’t have as many meetings. In the middle of this tension God is to be found.

44. Each one of your parishioners is made in God’s image. You just need to look harder at some of them.

45. Annual Parochial Church Meetings would be enlivened if people could be voted off rather than on. But you might be first.

46. The person at your door asking for money and food might be a prophet. But they just be dangerous and frightening to your family and you have to be careful.

47. The recycled sermon you use in desperation will be the only one someone remembers from the first time.

48. All pews are sacred.

49. Sending a text at the right time can be a deeply pastoral act.

50. Hardly anyone will refuse if you offer to pray for them.

32. The person who looks most miserable in a special service will be the one who tells you at the end how much they loved it.

33. You might have sung ‘Hark the Herald’ thirteen times already, but for most of the congregation it’s their only time in church this year.

34. The person who thought that an orange, some ribbon, sweets and a candle would be an aid to worship had to be joking. No one’s laughing now.

35. There should be a misprint in every order of service. Only God is perfect.

36. No one will notice if you do your bit at the wrong time. Everyone will notice when the organist does. Cut them some slack.

37. Virgers are God’s way of saying ‘I love you’.

38. Aggressive gestures at other drivers are given added spice when you wear a dog collar.

39. There is something curiously uplifting about doing 70 mph in a hearse.

40. You need a very secure safe for all the special treasures people entrust you with.